Just Fine

So we made up our minds. We decided not to leave
Columbia after all, but we are in the process of
moving as I type. Its exciting and scary all
in the same realm of emotions. We are
looking forward to the move though...
we need a change....a refreshing change.

Glad today I can look outside and finally
see some sunshine. Its been cold and rainy
here for the past three days. If I cannot be
home with my snugglebutt under the covers
watching a scary movie....then I need for it
to stay sunny while I work!!! :)

We have recently been discussing things
that we are looking forward to. We both
decided once Stacie gets out of high school
and into college good.....we are outta here!
Purchasing a motorhome and we will be
on our way!! Im tired of living this bullshit
dream of a car, a home and 2 1/2 kids. Who
are we trying to fool? People bust their asses
day in and day out...trying to make a dollar
and hold onto these worldy possessions and
for what???? Just to have your job jerked out
from underneath you and then you loose all
you have worked so hard to possess. To hell
with that I say!! Once our girls are stable in
their own lives.....its time for us. We want
to travel the US and just live. We have lived
the American dream.....had kids....owned homes
....owned cars.....wtf did it do for us? Not a
damn thing I tell you. Worry me into a early
shade of grey and cause J to bite off all her nails.
Its ridiculous to keep trying to have all these things
that you arent taking with you when you leave here
anyways. And what the hell do our kids care about
all this crap? They just have to pay the taxes and
bills we leave behind. People have forgotten how
to live I think. Things have become to modernized
and people are comfortable with the drama and
hate thats been created in this cold world.
No one knows what loyalty and respect mean
anymore.

I watched today as I went to get lunch....I watched
the people. No one smiles much. Maybe they
dont have anything to smile about....maybe they
are just cold and hard...or maybe they are having
a bad day. I smile at them....hoping for a glimmer
of response.....NOTHING...I get nothing. Oh well.
I long to be free of all this dread and dispare.
As long as I have my love and know my kids
are good..... whatever comes my way will be
handled accordingly. We have had our share of
heartache. Times are changing......yes indeed they
are changing for the better. Almost 10 years
together....thats quite an accomplishment for us.
Eventhough we have had our ups and downs....the
love never stopped. Things may have detoured us
from where we needed to be....but we always found
our way back.

So...life is getting to where we need it to be. We are
excited to be moving and getting out of a place where
bad memories reside. Sometimes all it takes is a
positive change to make us see....everything is
going to be just fine.